July 2017

Lists are Great…

Things every man should do during his lifetime:

– Plant a tree;
– Write a book;
– Have a child;

Things Jeff did every day after meeting Lara:

– Tend to her garden, vacant gaze, preferably naked;
– Buy her books, clothes, jewels… anything!;
– Bring her more subjects, more “children” to teach, enslave;

Lists are great. Mind control is better.

Another bit of humor, this time inspired by something I was always told whilst growing up. Of the first list, I already accomplished the first two items. Of the second one… well, not going to tell you, but my name isn’t Jeff.


The Hypnotic Element

“How was movie night, Ash?”
“Great, Bob. I finally saw The Fifth Element. My favorite moment was when Diva Plavalaguna brainwashed Korben Dallas into giving her oral sex. So hot!”
“Don’t remember that.”
“I do. Loved it. So did Tracy.”
“Wait… your friend Tracy, the hypnotist, was there?”
“Yeah. Something wrong?”
“No… nothing at all.”

Today’s piece was inspired by the fact that Luc Besson’s most recent film is about to hit theaters soon where I live. This, in turn, made me remember his sci-fi “classic” The Fifth Element which I then decided to explore in my own particular way. Have you seen this version of the movie? If not, you probably should.


Lost in (Sub)Space

“Danger, Will Robinson!” the robot said.
“Don’t listen to her, Will Robinson! She’s going to turn you into her toy!”
“Will Robinson, please stop grinning like a fool!”
“Are those… puppy eyes? Resist, Will Robinson! You must resist.”
“Sigh… why do I even bother? Sexy alien lady, take good care of Will Robinson, will you?”

Do you remember Lost in Space?

I can’t really say that I do. I never saw the classic TV series, didn’t read any of the comics that inspired it. I did see the weird 1998 movie though I don’t remember much of it except for alien spiders, time distortions, and whatnot. Yesterday, at a chat room I was in, I was reminded of a one-liner associated with the show that became a catchphrase of popular culture and I immediately thought of my own version of the proceedings entitled Lost in (Sub)Space.

Today’s piece is a rendition of that silly idea that came to me. In the TV series, the character of Will Robinson is a young boy certainly not old enough to take part in kinky affairs. In the movie, there’s an older version of the character brought about by said time distortions. In my story, Will Robinson is to be construed as a grown man who has just met someone very special.


Beautiful Lies

“Tell me the truth,” Scott begged. “What exactly did you do to me?”
“What if you don’t like the truth?” Theresa retorted.
“Then tell me beautiful lies I can believe in.”
“I thought I was already doing that…” she smirked.
“Try harder, please.”
“Okay. We’re not really having this conversation.”
You didn’t read this either.

Today’s entry is a random piece about confusion, desires and the need for answers. Or maybe it’s just a meaningless impromptu. Which is which? I don’t really know. I don’t even remember writing it… or do I? I hope you have a good weekend.


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