Unlike my shorties, this one has more than 55 words, but it was fun to play with the concept within the scope of a larger framework. Enjoy.
Barry threw his arms up in the air in complete exasperation.
“That’s it, I quit! It can’t be done!”
“What can’t be done?” Julia asked, peeking over his left shoulder.
“This exercise of yours. How am I supposed to write a complete story with a clear beginning, middle and end using only 55 words? It’s impossible, I tell you!” he exclaimed pushing the laptop to the side.
“There’s nothing impossible about it,” she retorted. “All you need is a bit of restraint. If you focus on the essential things and avoid the superfluous, you can write millions of stories in that format, believe me!”
“Well, if that’s true, I certainly can’t! I always end up with too many words and trimming proves impossible without destroying the idea I was going for so I quit!”
“I’m not letting you quit so easily…” she said, kissing him on his earlobe. “Show me what you were writing.”
“Hmmm… I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said, darting for the keyboard.
With a swift motion, she grabbed his rotating chair and made it slide a few meters away from the table. When he recovered, she was already holding the computer in her hands.
“Now, why you don’t tell me what you were trying to hide before I find out on my own?” She asked with a dry smile.
“Hmmm… well, you see…”
“I was trying to write a Hypnotic Femdom story,” he confessed, completely embarrassed.
Her eyes lit up and the whole room appeared to follow suit.
“Really? Aren’t you a boy full of surprises?” She declared with unmistakable glee. “Now I’m even more curious. Let’s see what you wrote…”
Malcolm came home from work, completely worn out. He needed a good meal, a good shower and a good night’s sleep, not necessarily in this order, but fate had other plans in store for him. Sitting on the sofa, smiling arrogantly, was his hypnotist ex-girlfriend Dawn with a crystal pendant in hand.
“What are you doing here?” He asked in fear as memories of their time together came rushing back to him.
“My new pet ran away and I’m bored so, for old times’ sake…”
The lights bounced off the pendant as his world began to grow dark.
“Hmmm, that’s quite a delicious tale,” she said, licking her lips. “But 100 words, really? You’re trying too hard, too much purple prose. There are so many things in here you can easily cut or substitute and still retain the same overall feeling.”
“I can’t do it,” Barry insisted, still recovering from the shame of having one of his fantasy scenarios scrutizined by her.
“Okay. Let me take care of it then.”
Julia placed the laptop back on the table and began to type. In less than two minutes, his somewhat convoluted story now read like this:
Malcolm came home, drained. He needed to eat, shower and sleep, but fate wanted otherwise. On the sofa, smirking, was his ex-girlfriend, Dawn, crystal pendant in hand.
“Why are you here?” He shivered, remembering their relationship.
“Pet’s gone, I’m bored. For old times’ sake…”
Light bounced off the pendant as his world darkened.
“Wow!” Barry conceded upon seeing the end result. “That’s pretty good. I guess you’re right, I tend to overcomplicate simple things.”
“Yes you do,” she said teasingly as her fingers waltzed across the black keys once again. “Now, let me write a story of my own…”
She was even faster this time around. One minute later, a new text document proudly exhibited the following words:
“I quit!” Barry said, exasperated. “It’s impossible to write a complete story in 55 words.”
“No, it’s not,” Julia replied. “Focus on something good and magic willl happen.”
“Focus on what?”
“My eyes, Barry. My beautiful, hypnotic eyes. So many stories inside. Focus on them and surrender.”
“Your… eyes… surren…”
“Hypnotic Femdom rocks!” She giggled.
Completely transfixed in shades of blue, unable to look away, Barry had no choice but to agree.