A Comment/Review on Blaperino’s “Tranquil Minds “
Today, I tried my luck with the first EMCSA story by author Blaperino. It’s entitled Tranquil Minds and the synopsis goes as follows:
A woman walks into a massage spa and uses her special massage oil to take control.
I wasn’t really sure what to expect from this one and I actually hesitated whether to read it or not. The fact that we’re dealing with a first-time author helped seal the deal because we all have to start somewhere. I hope this piece is the first of many but I also hope certain things evolve along the way. Please allow me to elaborate.
Without going into spoiler territory, I’ll just say that the mind-controller of the piece goes by Carmine (Mistress or Goddess depending on the context). Her plan involves becoming the owner of a spa and enslaving anyone she can along the way. Other than that, her goals aren’t very clear. She says she likes to help people relax but surely there are other ways to do that than to completely rewrite their personalities? Just kidding. This is fiction so she can be as bitchy as she wants.
This is a femdom piece but not entirely an F/m one which are my favorite. Carmine dominates and enslaves women, too. In fact, she enslaves more women than men in the chapters that were made available yesterday. Fetishes within include 1) feet; 2) bimbofication; and 3) faux-incest (because step-mom and step-son isn’t really incest, is it?); Although I’ve dabbled in them in a couple of pieces myself, I’m not overtly fond of fetishes two and three in the list above.
The story has some appeal overall however I found myself getting distracted all the time due to the inconsistent and sometimes rather sloppy writing. I’m not saying this to be mean but simply fair in my appreciation. The thing that hurts this narrative the most is its editing (or lack of). There are too many mistakes, too many misused words, too many sentences that feel incomplete. Not knowing the author, I don’t know if this is because perhaps English isn’t his/her primary language but it happens too frequently to go unnoticed. I see some potential in the story line as a whole but I also see it squandered by its current presentation.
As such, I’m currently undecided if I’m going to continue with this one or not in the event new chapters are added in the future. I would like to find out if there’s an overarching plot concerning Carmine that still hasn’t been revealed but I feel that its current structure doesn’t do the idea any favors. If I had the time, I would gladly help Blaperino with editing but with everything going on at Spell… B-O-U-N-D, I’m not able to do that. However, if you can and wish to help, please contact the author through the e-mail listed at his/her EMCSA page.
Thank you for reading.
